everyday i’m met with new evidence that men have absolutely no reading comprehension skills

small-and-nerdy:
“Here’s a Μάτι (“Evil Eye”) charm for your dash to help keep the bad energy at bay
”

small-and-nerdy:

Here’s a Μάτι (“Evil Eye”) charm for your dash to help keep the bad energy at bay

decaffeinated:

whiskeywesley:

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Found this on a subreddit and I nearly fucking choked.

Reblog to yeet away your followers’ dysphoria.

Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

tomsrebeleyebrow:

petersbackpack:

flowriie:

pocmarvelworks:

ryanhadblogged:

mexicanthighs:

smartwata:

trapbvby:

feels-ships-lunars:

thelunarchroniclesthoughts:

missprincessdancingsunshine:

prettylittleliarsfan901:

shippinglucaya:

riarkling:

bitchwithwifivevo:

celestialkeyprincess:

crazy-fairy-br:

blondespancakes:

insidethe99:

patrick-kanes-nose:

i-likethesummer-rain:

queenprotein:

stardusttx:

twirliest:

steampoweredplayer:

lollie-pond:

larryismyhallelujah:

thetasrose:

peachy-blisss:

myswagisnice:

I love my mom.

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I am risking nothing

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I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

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sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

This has 1.2 million reblogs …
Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost
ps not risking it

Fuck this post

2.5 million notes I hate myself

I reblogged this twice now

I’m so sorry this isn’t b99 related and this isn’t real but I can’t not skip this I’m sorry

Not taking a fucking chance

Sorry, guys, but Im not taking a chance

No chances… She’s out… And she must be protected.

How dare you

Whatcha doin to me Farkle!

i can’t risk it

sorry babes my moms just my favorite person ever

Sorry I can’t risk it

Fuck sorry guys  I love my mom

Omg I hate these things but I am paranoid. So sorry guys.

2.8 million notes

CANT RISK IT

Sorry guys

sorry 😩

IM NOT RISKING IT

I did, my mom is STILL DEAD. Works.

haaaaate this shit

fuck i cant i love my mom

i’m sorry guys but i love my momma too much

Sorry but I love my mama too much

finnglas:

coffee-or-hot-cocoa:

thetatteredveil:

shymagnolia:

shymagnolia:

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

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…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

i need all the help i can get for finals

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

not my mom threatening to take HANDSOAP away from me in a PANDEMIC

advanced-procrastination:

trilllizard666:

fortangel:

mediocrepresident:

goldkat-g0negrey:

reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for

YES

No but my dad actually did this at McDonalds in the 70s!

So here’s a true story: my father, sometime in the 70s was looking for his first job. He went to the local McDonalds and told the staff, [manager’s name] said I was supposed to start today. They took his word for it and started training him and by the time the manager saw him and asked who he was, people just said “oh that’s the new guy.”

Somehow this actually worked. My dad worked there for a couple of years as a cook. He even won an award plaque which he had on the wall until the day he died.

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Confidence Helps

Me, walking into FBI Headquarters:

“Name’s Burt Macklin, I work here now.”

theme